Enneatype 2: The HelperCarer, Caretaker, Nurturer, Pleaser, Enabler, Manipulator, Martyr
Key Characteristics of Enneatype 2
Caring, Generous, Sympathetic, Loving, Helpful, People-Pleasing, Thoughtful, Considerate, Warm-Hearted, Seductive, Sociable, Approachable, Vulnerable, Generous, Appreciated, Enthusiastic, Indispensable, Sentimental, Proud, Possessive, Needy, Emotional, Martyr.
Twos have a deep desire for intimate union, either physical or emotional. So they attempt to emulate these qualities by trying to become someone special that others will love deeply. Twos are very loving and sensitive to other people’s emotional needs, but it is a case of giving in order to receive. They don’t like to ask for affection or attention because they expect others to be like them and sense when it is needed. Twos need to be needed and don’t like to be ignored or rejected. They can be perceived as being clingy, needy and sentimental, with a sense of self-importance.
- Countertype – Can look like Sixes or Sevens.
- Loving, caring and nurturing, but don’t like asking for help or being dependant on others.
- Unlike other Twos, this countertype is less outgoing and doesn’t see themselves as needy (even though they are).
- They are lovable, cute and innocently seductive because they subconsciously want to be taken care of.
- They have a child-like sense of self-importance and entitlement just for being who they are, and they get upset when they don’t get special treatment.
- They would benefit from becoming more conscious of their dependency needs and developing more-mature relationships.
- Can look like Fours.
- Romantic, seductive and wild at heart, but can be manipulative and strong-willed.
- They inspire affection, attraction or allegiance in others, so they can have their own way and get what they want, because they don’t like taking “no” for an answer.
- The attractive nature that is inherent in all Twos is amplified by the sexual instinct, so their active seduction may even become aggressive.
- They subtly manipulate people into meeting their needs without having to explicitly ask for anything.
- They would benefit from establishing clearer boundaries with others, which would help them to become more authentic and less manipulative.
- Can look like Threes or Eights.
- Diplomatic, influential, ambitious and engaging social coordinators who use their seductive powers in a more intellectual way.
- They charm and seduce groups in order to gain power and influence over them.
- They are proud, ambitious, well-connected, and do what is required to get themselves noticed.
- They often have a hidden (subconscious) agenda when helping or giving, in that they only do it to get something they want.
- They would benefit from noticing how their need for power distracts them from their deeper feelings and needs.
(when safe and relaxed)
- Twos become more self-nurturing and emotionally aware, like healthy Fours.
- Twos become more confident and assertive, like healthy Eights.
- Twos become aggressive and dominating, like unhealthy Eights.
- Twos become depressed and self-pitiful, like unhealthy Fours.
Twos with a One Wing
Selfless, Warm, Efficient, Purposeful, Responsible, Appropriate, Good Samaritan, Caretaker, Dutiful, Inconspicuous, Modest, Elegant, Classic, Self-Critical, Martyr.
Twos with a Three Wing
Outgoing, Friendly, Charming, Cheerful, Generous, Good Host / Hostess, Fun, Playful, Glamorous, Adaptable, Focused, Direct, Ambitious, Sentimental, Self-Important, Arrogant.
General Advice for Twos
- Acknowledge your desire to call attention to what you have done for others.
- Don’t be so concerned about what others think of you.
- Establish boundaries that allow you to empathise with others without becoming entangled in their problems.
- Be honest about your motives when doing anything for anyone.
Core Beliefs & Strategies of Enneatype 2
Lost Essential Quality: Unity (Merging Gold)
Merging Gold is a state of blissful union in which all sense of being a separate individual dissolves into the oneness. It is the state of being so in love that we melt into sublime oneness with our beloved.
Mental Ideal (Holy Idea):
Universal Support (Universal Will)
The mind’s sense of the lost essential quality – the one ‘universal will’ that guides the unfolding of reality and gives a sense of being guided, nurtured, held and supported by the universe.
Emotional Ideal (Virtue):
The heart’s sense of the lost essential quality – the humility that arises from being at one with the universe and at one with the unfolding of life.
I am Unwanted / Unlovable
The loss of the essential quality (unity), the mental ideal (supported by the universe) and the emotional ideal (humility) contribute to the development a core belief of being inherently unwanted, unlovable and unsupported.
Core Motivation (to disprove the core belief):
To be Loved and Accepted
In an attempt to correct the core belief (being unlovable) and to reconnect with the essential quality (unity), the holy idea (held by universe) and the virtue (humility), Twos develop a strong desire to be loved and deeply accepted.
Mental Strategy (Fixation):
The ego-mind doesn’t see a nurturing and supportive universe, so Twos assume that role for others in the hope that they will be loved, accepted and appreciated in return.
Emotional Strategy (Passion):
The felt sense of pride that comes from their own good deeds and from being praised by others.
Ego Ideal (what we aspire to be): To be Lovable
The ego-ideal (to be lovable) is an aspirational idealised idea of ourself that incorporates the lost essential quality (Unity).